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Girl Talk Edition 4: To Love Again Or Not – So I ReMarried My Ex-Husand and My Top 4 Reasons To ReMarry Your Ex

Life + Culture

October 25, 2016

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  1. Sue says:

    Beautiful story, congratulations to you both glad to hear such a loving story
    Beautiful dress!!! Can you tell us about it? My daughter is getting married I think it would make a perfect mother of the bride

    • therusticlife says:

      Thank you Sue. I got the dress from David’s Bridal it was under $600. I can dig it up and see who the designer was. It s a perfect MOTB dress!

  2. Angela Anzalone says:

    Sandra, what a lovely and touching story. I sort of know what you went through. My hubby and I got married very young, 19, and we were married for 8 yrs and then divorced. After about a year apart, we slowly worked our way back to each other and remarried. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and after years of therapy, both individual and marital, so many things clicked and makes sense. Hopefully one day I can write about it, like you, to inspire someone or be able to help them out. Thank you so much for sharing.

    • therusticlife says:

      Angela sweetie. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I know you understand what we have been through. It has been a journey of self-growth and understanding for sure.

  3. Laddie says:

    Wow! Amazing story with a happy beginning. So happy for you! I love to see happy marriages. We need to all value/respect marriage more. I hear of so many divorces and infidelities – breaks my heart. When I was growing up, I never heard of the word “divorce.” Now, it’s so common!! Anyways, thank you for opening up your heart and sharing your lovely story. I wish you the best!

    • therusticlife says:

      It is very common now and sad as you said. Marriage is something that takes a lot of work and am so glad we are on this journey together.

  4. Michelle says:

    So happy to hear about your happy ending! My son has Aspergers and I don’t want to be a grammar Nazi, but it’s spelled with a p, not a b. ❤️

    • therusticlife says:

      Thank you Michelle, yes with a P that was a typo 🙂 I hope your son is doing well. It’s something only loved ones dealing with really understands.

  5. Jana says:

    Such a beautiful love story! Congrats to you both!

  6. Talia says:

    Boo!!! I am so happy for you. I am glad helped you all through this. I will remember you all in my prayers when I think of you and as my hubby and I lift up married couples. Thanks for sharing your life with us. God bless you my sweet friend. Love you much even though its from afar. – Talia

    • therusticlife says:

      Talia, doll you have always been so supportive, sweet and kind. Thank you so very much for the blessings and kind words sweet friend 🙂

  7. Zan says:

    What a story Sandra. I follow you on Instagram and was also surprised at the photo you put up from your shopping trip. So happy to know the behind the scenes and get a peek into your real life. I’m glad that you now know the truth and know how to re-love and also have found re-marrying him to be the best decision for your family. Congrats… beautiful photos!!

    • therusticlife says:

      Hi Zan, I thought it was about time to share share my story. It’s not unique, but I felt it needed to be told 🙂

  8. Meredith says:

    What a beautiful post! I’m so happy you two have a second chance at love :))

  9. Rhonda says:

    I’m so happy for you!!! I couldn’t wait to get home tonight to read your story. I’ve been married for 23 years, good, bad, UGLY, fabulous, healthy, and unhealthy years! Therapy is so necessary, but so taboo. Why??? You should read (if you haven’t already) “I Do Again” by Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs. They counseled us through our darkest hours. They were married, divorced 8 years, then married again. Beautiful love story! EVERYONE has their quirks…even the ones on the green grass! Thank you for being transparent! Hugs!!!

    • therusticlife says:

      Rhonda sweetie, thank you so much for your kind words and blessings. Therapy shouldn’t be taboo but sadly it is. Sometimes just having that extra person to talk to, not family and friends, just a neutral person help so much. I will surely pick up that book! thank you for suggesting it! XO

  10. I am soooooo very happy for you sweets…….everything happens for a reason, even if we don;t understand it at the time:)

    Best wishes to the happy couple!

  11. I admire you so much for sharing your experience with remarrying your ex husband! You are obviously a very kind and understanding soul! PS you looked GORGEOUS! I loved your dress!

    • therusticlife says:

      Hi Samantha, thank you so much! Wasn’t sure I would have shared our story, but I’m glad I did as it has been so inspiring to others. The dress was just right for a second wedding, so thank you sweetie

  12. Bridget B. says:

    Beautiful wedding and an even more beautiful story! It made me think of the saying “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
    I am happy to hear that you both were brave enough to overcome the past and give your relationship another chance.

    • therusticlife says:

      Thank you Bridget. wow what a saying. Never heard it before, but oh my how true that is. Marriage is work and I am happy we are giving ours a second chance.

  13. Paige Covington says:

    When my son was diagnosed with Aspergers we discovered that my husband also has it. Realizing that made a huge difference in how I perceived him. If not for the grace of God our marriage would have ended. It’s so hard when you feel like your the only emotionally invested party, but when you realize they don’t know how to show they are emotionally invested, it’s helps you to understand a little better. We have said the revelation of what he has is not an excuse. In terms same way our son has to learn things that may not come naturally to him, so does he. This last year has been a transformation. I can’t tell you what your post means to me. To know I’m not the only one who has walked and is walking through this. I have followed you on Instagram and never had a clue but I’m so thankful I stopped by here. Thank you for your transparency. Lord Bless you all!!

    • therusticlife says:

      Paige,
      My dear, tears are brought to my eyes as I walk in your shoes my love. Isn’t it a God send when we know why they act the way they do. WHY they don’t show emotion, why they are awkward and uncomfortable in certain situations etc… It can feel lonely at times can’t it. The struggle is so real and hard at times. I love my husband and yes, if it wasn’t for the grace of God who gives me understanding and compassion I don’t know where we would be. Understand YOU are the blessing in their lives. Thank you for sharing with me.
      Sending Many XO as I’m sure you appreciate them.
      Sandra

  14. Tahara says:

    This is my first time finding and reading your blog…I am glad I stopped by :-)…Your story is very inspirational…My husband and I didn’t divorce but had decided to separate after we were married for 7 years, then we decided that we still loved each other and worked with one another to really understand and love one another in a way that feels like love to each of us…We are now almost 17 years married, and I can’t imagine if we were not together…We came so close to giving up…Saving our marriage was one of the best decisions we ever made for ourselves and our boys…We are very different, but we are happy together now that we are committed to loving each other…It still blows my mind how happy I am with him, and how close we came to throwing it all away…Thank you for sharing such a personal story with us and God bless you and your family!

    • therusticlife says:

      Hi Tahara,

      I love what you said “and love one another in a way that feels like love to each of us” thats powerful. Marriage is work. It’s so easy to give up. I hung in there for many years before I pulled the trigger, but I guess we were meant to be together and it sounds like you and your husband were too. It’s a wonderful thing when two people can acknowledge what they they bring to the relationship and what they don’t and try to fix it. I’m so happy you were able to find comfort and inspiration in my story. Cheers to you and your hubby for making your marriage work.
      XO Sandra

  15. Jen s says:

    Hi Sandra,
    Thank you for being brave enough to share your story, it really hit home for me and has given me hope. My husband and I are going through a difficult time right now, but are in therapy together and separately hoping we can work things out. We’ve been married 8 years and I’ve always suspected he had aspergers, just from what I’ve read on the subject and with the issues we’ve had in our marriage. I often struggle to understand him and dont always feel reciprocation of my love. Therapy has made him more aware of how his actions effect me and I think we are on the right path. I pray daily for the strength and for God’s blessing that we can move on to a better place together.

    • therusticlife says:

      Oh Jen,

      I’m so happy you were able to find my story and find comfort and hope in it. It sounds like you and your husband are on the right track in seeking guideance and outside help from a neutral person. Trust in your love. In hope, in God. Give it your best and try to understand the root of why your husband is who he is. It didn’t help that my husband was practically abused by his mother. I did not know this until after the divorce and during therapy. Can you imagine being married to someone for so long and not know that something so terrible happened to him in his youth. It explained so much. Anyways, you are blessed, always know that and know that God will not give you more than you can bear. Sending prayers and hugs!

      XO Sandra

  16. Victoria says:

    I follow you on Instagram and loved reading this! How wonderful that you were able to work things out! There’s another lady I follow who got divorced last year after 25 years and now, her ex H has moved back in! I would never go back to my ex because I got way too lucky the second time around!!! You and your hubby always remind me of me and my hubby, when you’re cooking dinner and sipping your wine:). I’m an empty nester also but my awesome hubby works his tail off so I’m able to be a homemaker, which I love! Thank you for sharing your story!

    • therusticlife says:

      Hi Victoria, thank you for reading and leaving me this sweet note. I’m so happy you found love a second time around. It’s not always that easy and remarrying their ex is certainly isn’t for everyone. It was through hard work with a therapist and becoming self aware of what you need to communicate to your partner is what makes us work again. It makes me smile that you see your hubby and yourself in us…we just love that when we hear it! Have a blessed day darling! XOXO

  17. Anita says:

    I remarried my ex. Sometimes I think it was the right thing and then there are times I know I shouldn’t have. Thank you for sharing.

  18. Kay says:

    Thank you for this, I’m now seeing my ex husband again after being apart for 18 years, I didn’t really have hope until now

    • therusticlife says:

      Kay, there is always hope, it’s just a matter of figuring out if you want to put the time in and if salvaging the relationship is important to you. If the answer is yes, then keep at it and see what happens. Love is a strong thing and you obviously still have some for him after all these years!

  19. Mike says:

    Wow! So touching. My wife and I almost got unhitched about a year ago to the point we we’re about done with each other after 20 years of marriage. I realized I didn’t want to throw away all of those good and bad memories especially how we experienced the cruel realities of life ( bank account down to $7, name blaming, sleeping on the couch, etc) because we were capable of doing something about it.

    Therapy is such a great tool if you apply and follow through with it. After couples training which was needed by the both of us, we now have to be tea-driven to stay on point to constantly remind ourselves trust is a bridge that has to checked daily to avoid old habits from re-forming.

    So glad for the both of you and best wishes in the future.

    • therusticlife says:

      Hi Mike, thank you so much for leaving such encouraging feedback for others who may see this post in the future. I’m so happy that you both decided to let love win and to work on what you both know, deep down, could be a very beautiful and strong relationship.

  20. Such a beautiful story.❤️

  21. Cynthia Romero says:

    I am going through something very similar. I don’t know any details as to where I will remarry and if I have the money available to me at the moment, but I am remarrying my ex husband. I divorced him after 19 years of marriage for many reasons, but the main one being infidelity. After a year divorced my ex husband has reached out to me and still loves me, asjed me for forgiveness and now we are dating. We plan to remarry, but don’t know when and how yet. Your story has been inspirational to me. I hope I can testify of a marriage restored and have another 20 better years than the last. Pray for me. Many blessings to you and your husband.

    • therusticlife says:

      Hi Cynthia, Choosing to remarry your ex isn’t a decision you take lightly and you obviously are trusting your gut. All I can say is to continue on that path and trust in the process. What is meant to be will be if you both want it to work. If you both really trust that this is right for you then make yourselves happy. Life is short 🙂 Wishing you many years of joy and happiness. XO Sandra

  22. Tina says:

    I enjoyed reading how God brought you two back together. I was married 23 years. Together 22. There were issues mainly communication and finances. My ex was devastated by the divorce and we really had no contact during that time. I cut off communication because we couldn’t communicate. I went thru with the divorce. We are now working on building a friendship and had talked about possible reconciliation. He goes back and forth. I’ve encouraged him to get counseling as I am doing. I’m trying to keep my emotions out of it for now because he is so indecisive. We both have been dating but he has stated that God has been dealing with him about this….I have decided to continue to live my life and be his friend and keep him uplifted in prayer. I know he’s vulnerable right now.
    Thanks for letting me share!!

  23. Maureen says:

    What a beautiful and open story of true love.. spoken through the heart. My marriage ended after 26 years and I remarried. However my ex-husband reached out to me during an issue I was having. He stayed single and now expressed his feelings and how sorry he is that we divorced. Yes…true feelings and true love never fade,. I am very happy for you and will also pray for guidance,. You are a beautiful woman and I wish you and your husband many years of happiness and true love!

    • therusticlife says:

      I’m sorry you had to go through that. It’s Never easy to make hard decisions on marriage. But only you know what feels right to you. Praying for joy for you whatever that looks and feels like. Thank you so much!

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