What’s Girl Talk about you ask? Well it’s a place for ladies to talk and get real. It’s a place where we will talk about men, life/feminine issues, kids, being a mom and even sex! So let me get right to it. I’m sure many of you have heard of this 80/20 rule. If you haven’t, it is a simple equation, made up by God knows who, but it goes something like this.
THE 80/20 RULE:
When it comes to men, I think women as well to be honest, there is a ratio of acceptance and tolerance that is to expected and accepted. A ratio of 80% of a guys personality/traits/habits that will be “just right” and 20% that you can tolerate because there is no human being that is PERFECT!
I must admit, I was one of those girls (not yet a woman). Yup, I had a checklist. How did that work out for me before you may be wondering. Not so well. Many ladies have the perception that in order to find Mr. Right, a guy needs to have the perfect job title, be perfectly dressed, be super duper funny and make a certain amount of money. Honestly in the end, does ALL of that matter? You need to choose ladies. Ask yourself what’s really important to you. If you are an independent woman , does he really have to make six figures, or do you become a team and support each other through thick and thin. If he wouldn’t make the cover of GQ magazine, isn’t it easy enough to take him to the GAP and to your favorite hairstylist? He may not be Chris Rock when it comes to jokes, but darn it, if he has a sense of humor, can make you laugh, doesn’t have a dry personality and knows you sometimes better than you know yourself, isn’t he worth keeping or at least worth nurturing.
All I’m saying is Mr. Perfect doesn’t exist. 80% of what you should be looking for is that he has the same family and moral values. That he cares about your feelings. That he is respectful in the way he talks to you and treats you. That he wants to make you laugh or at least crack multiple smiles a day because of something he says. Yes, he has to be compatible in bed. Yeah…that one I agree with LOL (more on that in another post) Yes, he has to be motivated and not lazy. He should be flexible and willing to compromise. He needs to understand that winning a fight isn’t about being a man, but rather learning to choose his battles in support of peace at home. 20% of what isn’t that important when talking about having a successful long term relationship is, him leaving the toilet seat up. Him not being the most romantic person. He may get the present for your birthday but forget the wrapping paper. (I’d rather an unwrapped present, than no present at all) Him pairing the wrong shoes with the wrong type of shirt. He may not make six figures, but being in a smaller home than the Barbie dream house you envisioned isn’t the end of the world if you have the decorating skills that help make any house a home.
I’m divorced and now engaged. I’ve grown as a person. I’ve grown as a woman, a nurturer and a giver. I’m not perfect, but I’m loved and I’m accepted. At the end of my life, I want to have a man by my side that will shed tears for me, not because he is losing his sex kitten or his arm candy, but because his life will be incomplete because he will feel lost. Because he will feel empty. Because he knows that he has lived a fulfilled life with a woman that completed him. That my cyber girlfriends is a little snippet of what I feel life + love is all about.